Insight formation, Redefinition and Sublimation in counseling

Insight formation. The most important aspect of this mental process for the counselor to appreciate is that it is something that is achieved by the client, and not something that is communicated to him by the counselor or anyone else. Most people have a rather naive faith in the power of the spoken word, naive in the sense that it is extended to apply to people in emotional conflict and tension. In marital situations which come to the counselor the partners almost invariably have been the recipients of many wise observations, so obviously rational and appropriate to those who have offered them, but almost completely ineffective in the marital conflict. Such wise and well-meant homilies do not touch the deep unconscious elements in the situation, and however much the partners attempt to follow them, their efforts are superficial in this sense and have to be sustained continually by “will power” which inevitably breaks down after a time and in the face of unexpected provocations.

Intellectual insight in this sense does not necessarily involve a person’s emotional attitudes, and in such cases will not have any deep or sustained influence on behavior. But when through patient working through intense and conflicting feelings in the accepting, non-threatening atmosphere of good counseling, a person comes to awareness of his emotional needs and their effects on his previous attitudes, he is then able and ready to change from within. What we discover for ourselves is always more influential than what is communicated to us from without.

Insight formation then is something achieved by clients and it involves all aspects of the personality. The counselor’s task is mainly to facilitate the process by acceptance and by “reflecting” the client’s feelings and looking with him at their implications. It is to be a kind of psychic “mirror” in which the client can come gradually to see into his own personality and into the significant elements in the disturbed relationships, so as to be able to make whatever changes he may feel disposed to do.

Redefinition and “re-conceptualization.” These closely related processes are really part of the process of insight, or at least an application of insight to the many different aspects of the client’s personal attitudes and relationships. As new insights dawn the client will often begin enthusiastically to rethink these things with new interest and hope. This process will generally go on as much or more between the counseling sessions as within them, and it will often continue after the conclusion of counseling. The counselor may be asked to look with the client at many of his tentative conclusions, and to help in further clarification with either or both clients. Sometimes after an interval of some months after the conclusion of the main series of interviews some further matters may come up for clarification in an extra session, and the discussion is then likely to be on a very positive practical level and to result in further consolidation of the partnership.

Sublimation. When feelings of any kind are strong it may be harmful to the personality to try to suppress or block them. The mechanism of sublimation is one through which many such potentially destructive feelings can be re-channeled into socially acceptable attitudes. For example hostility is often strongly imbedded in the human personality, and men and women will always tend to feel angry under certain conditions. But this anger can be diverted into the socially acceptable channel of a vigorous campaign against the common enemies of mankind rather than allowed to cause useless and destructive family squabbles. The ability to sublimate feelings varies greatly with different people; it is almost absent, for example, in the psychopathic personality and strongly present in the saint. It can be developed by spiritual inspiration and discipline and helped by such activities as healthy cooperative sport and good hobbies in which enthusiasms can be shared. It can also be helped by education when the personal relationship with the educators is good. The marriage counselor may help firstly by his knowledge of the value of this mechanism, and secondly by his personal inspiration of the client and his willingness to go along with him as he works through the slow healing process.

Some other mental mechanisms, such as phantasy thinking and symbolic thinking, fixation and regression, may be found in the counseling of some people, but they are more appropriate to psychotherapy than to counseling and will therefore not be dealt with in any detail. If they show up to any extent in marriage counseling the counselor may well consider the advisability of referral to a psychotherapist.

Tags: Counseling