Role of Illness in Marital disorders

Illness, physical and mental, may sometimes be found as a decisive intra-personal causative factor in marital disorder. The heavy burden of severe or repeated physical illness, possibly including hospitalization and surgical operations, may overwhelm married couples who have not the physical, emotional and possibly the financial stability necessary to cope with it. When it happens early in a marriage it might be particularly difficult for them to negotiate. In some cases the help of social workers and of good neighbors and relatives will have a decisive effect on the preservation of the marriage.

A less obvious kind of physical illness fairly common in these days, and often a source of strain to a marriage is exhaustion from overwork, particularly in the case of young mothers with demanding children and insufficient help. They often become deeply disillusioned by the never-ending daily grind, so different from their rosy dreams about marriage and parenthood. They are too tired to be of much inspiration to their husbands when they come home tired after a trying day to an untidy house, a late meal, crabby children and a miserable wife. Tempers tend to be much more easily provoked, and the two partners may easily find themselves drawing further and further apart. There may also be financial worries to add to the trouble.

These situations need counseling to allow each of the partners the opportunity of unburdening disturbed and hostile feelings and apprehensions and worries. Sometimes this is enough to enable them to take hold again, with the help of relatives and friends. Sometimes they need help towards more efficient household management and better use of available financial resources. In such troubles as these marriage counselors need to have an awareness of the social welfare resources that may be available and appropriate to the situation.

The most common mental illness met with in the background of marital disorders is what is called psychoneurosis, or neurosis for short. The marriage counselor does not set out to treat neurotic illness, but he must be able to recognize some of the indications of such disorders, so that he is less likely to waste time and effort in trying to reason people out of them, or to make them worse by misunderstanding. He is then more confidently able to refer them if necessary for medical treatment.

Tags: Counseling