The Marriage Counselor – What kinds of people might be involved in marriage counseling?

As MARRIAGE is a universal institution, and marital disorders of a severity requiring help are almost as widespread, it is inevitable that almost anybody might become involved in some kind of attempt to assist in the reconciliation of marital conflicts. Many people will be emotionally involved as in-laws and other relatives; others may be less involved, such as good friends and neighbors, but still prone to take sides, to criticize or condemn, to advise, and in many cases to interfere on their own initiative. Even if some of these people have a so-called good practical knowledge of marriage, from their own direct or indirect experience, they still have had no adequate training in marriage counseling, and as we have seen their most sincere and devoted efforts are not likely to be of much permanent benefit. But they may have a valuable part in the reconciliation if they can be content to exert some influence towards the obtaining of more competent help.

Apart from these interested parties, what kinds of people might be or become involved in marriage counseling? If we survey the field in various countries the people who may find themselves in the role of counselor or conciliator in either an informal or a formal way may be divided into several groups for the purpose of discussion.

a. People with some training and experience in dealing with other people in a personal way, but with little or no specific training in counseling or in the principles of personal or marital relationships. Under this group heading we can include many ministers, doctors, teachers, lawyers, probation officers, magistrates, sociologists, welfare officers, personnel officers, military, naval and air force officers, youth leaders, and many others in positions of leadership. These people may often be brought into contact with marital disorders in the course of their daily work, especially if they are interested in people and sensitive to signs of anxiety and other kinds of emotional tension. A large amount of quiet, unobtrusive help is being given by such people in many cases of marital trouble, and it is probable that such help is often enough to prevent some early and less serious difficulties from further deterioration. It is hoped that some of the insights expressed in this book may possibly help such relatively untrained helpers to develop more and more adequate ways of serving those who come into their orbit.

b. People who are professionally trained in interviewing, and possibly in counseling and even psychotherapy, but who
have had little specific training in marriage counseling. This group includes psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, (especially psychiatric social workers), and ministers and sociologists with special training in counseling. From their training and experience such people are sometimes more likely to see the marital disorders which come their way from the point of view of the intra-personal difficulties of each part ner than from that of the inter-personal relationship, which is the primary, though not the exclusive concern of the marriage counselor as such. When they have become oriented to the “inter-personal relationship” point of view, and have equipped themselves with adequate knowledge of the principies and inner dynamics of the marriage relationship, they are then able to be of very great help indeed in marital problems, as consultants as well as counselors.

c. People who are professionally trained in interviewing and counseling as well as in their own professional activities, and have added to this an adequate special training in the principles and inner dynamics of marriage and family life. Such people may be well equipped to provide a professional marriage counseling service of high quality.
This is the goal toward which the American Association of Marriage Counselors is moving, and the membership of that association, for which stringent conditions are necessarily imposed, is made up of members of several professions who have undertaken special training and secured considerable experience in the whole marital field. In 1957 ll was made up of social workers, 20%; doctors, 19% (gynecologists 8%, general medicine 6%, and psychiatrists 5%); educators, 16%; ministers, 15%; psychologists, 14%; sociologists, 12%; and lawyers, 4%. (“Marriage Counseling: A Case Book” Association Press, New York, 1958, page 485.)

These professional people, and others who are similarly trained but are not members of the Association, carry out their work either as members of a marriage counseling or social welfare agency, an educational or psychiatric foundation or clinic, or a religious organization; or individually as private practitioners. There are some first class training centers in the United States, whose graduates are gradually spreading across the country. There are also opportunities for some professional training in Great Britain and in other countries.

d. People without any particular professional background or training, who have been very carefully selected from the
point of view of their personal integrity and intelligence, their emotional maturity and balance, and their ability to undertake and make use of special training. Such people have been recruited to an increasing extent in Great Britain and more recently in Australia and New Zealand from the point of view of ability to give their voluntary part time services to marriage counseling when trained and “accredited,” through marriage counseling agencies and under supervision. For various reasons the selection is limited to those who are or have been happily married and not divorced or separated, and very careful assessment is continuously carried on throughout their training regarding their fitness for the work. At the end of their training course, which is full and comprehensive, they are assessed again and if satisfactory are “accredited” as “provisional counselors” or “associate counselors.” They are then given a further period of “in-service training,” after which, if satisfactory to the assessors, they are accredited as marriage counselors on the staff of the particular marriage counseling agency or one related with it.

This “lay” approach to marriage counseling, which is not found to any extent in America, has gradually emerged in response to increasingly urgent needs and a much greater shortage of professionally trained people than existed in America. Even if all the available professionally trained people could have been diverted to marriage counseling, which of course was impossible, this would still have failed to meet the needs of the situation or to come within the financial resources of the countries. “A new resource,” as Professor David Mace described it in England, had to be mobilized, trained, and put to work. With their genius for voluntary social services the people of Great Britain were pioneers in this great social project, and from 1942 onward it has developed and extended in a manner that has more than fulfilled the most optimistic hopes of its imitators and overcome the doubts of the skeptics. It has also received unqualified commendation from the British Royal Commission on Marriage and Divorce, 1951-3 (London, H.M.S.O., 1956).

It is essential, however, to emphasize the conditions which are found to be necessary for such a service to be successfully carried out. Careful and continuous “selection” and screening, full and comprehensive training, followed by “in-service” training, expert and comprehensive assessment of suitability, the fullest safeguards of team work under the competent supervision of professionally trained and experienced “case supervisors,” and the full backing of a carefully selected panel of professional “consultants” to whom clients in need of any special help can be referred and with whom the counselors can consult in any case of difficulty.

It seems certain that this approach to marriage counseling as a voluntary part-time social service will continue and expand in countries in which it has been operating. The lack of sufficient available professional resources, and the cost of such resources even if they were available, would seem to make this inevitable. But more important still is the fact that this approach has abundantly proved its success wherever it has been carried out under the already mentioned safeguards. It seems clear that the greater the extension of this work the more efficient and available the professional supervision and the consultant’s panels will need to be.

e. Consultants. These are professionally trained people of special competence in an appropriate field related to marriage, who are willing to see clients referred to them, generally at their own professional rooms or offices, as a private professional service under a mutually acceptable financial arrangement. Included among them are those who are especially com^ petent in the counseling and psychotherapeutic fields, such as psychiatrists, psychologists, and some pastors and social workers. There will be others who may have little or no training or experience in the psychological areas, but are expert in some limited field, such as gynecology, urology, medicine, pediatrics, social casework, law, ethics, religion, vocational guidance or child guidance.

It seems desirable, and it often happens, that these people should have some continuous contact with the marriage counseling agency with which they work, and some acquaintance with the principles and goals of its work. This is helped by regular opportunities for mutual discussion between all who are taking part in the expanded “team work.”
As we consider the number and variety of people who may have an essential part in this many sided work of marriage counseling it seems clear that it is not a specialized branch of any profession or calling, but rather a specialized branch of counseling: an attitude and method of helping troubled people that is being more and more widely used by all the professions and by a steadily increasing number of trained laymen.

Tags: Counseling