The role of Mass-Media communications in marital disorders

Another fact of our time which has profound influence on marriage, as on almost every aspect of modern life, is the mass media-radio and television, the press, the cinema, the paper-back book, the magazine and the novel, the theatre, and modern mass advertising in all its intrusive channels. These, with their blatant and subtly suggestive emphasis on seductive charm and superficial “popularity,” based on possessions and external appearance and posturing rather than on genuine warmth and goodwill, add greatly to the problems of young married people as they “come down to earth,” often with painful disillusionment.

The extent of the influence of mass-media communications in our culture is quite beyond assessment. There is no doubt that they provide a very subtle and painless form of brain washing, repeated day after day from the time when a child is first able to comprehend to the time of senility or death. The fact that other victims of the brain washing reiterate the superficial ideas gives a kind of “feed-back” quality to the original ubiquitous influence, increasing its effect to a still more alarming extent. The total effect on marriage of the persistent emphasis on sensuality, or gratification of appetite and other forms of self-centeredness, and on the superficial emotional aspects of human relationships, is yet unmeasured. But one apparent aspect of this is the molding of people into a cultural pattern in which competitiveness and conformity seem to go hand in hand, in which a significant part of our western culture has been drawn from the “tradition directed” and the much more civilized “inner directed” influence to the “other directed” attitudes which would convert human communities to something comparable with flocks of sheep. The terms have been borrowed from David Riesman’s book “The Lonely Crowd” (Doubleday,
1953)-

Another effect of this enormous growth of the mass media is the more general acceptance of the idea of divorce, with much less associated sense of failure and guilt. This has profound effects on marriage and family life. One of its consequences is that people tend increasingly to marry, thinking of marriage as some kind of trial partnership, which can easily be scrapped if it fails to “work out.” This constitutes a threat to “the sanctity of marriage,” in that people then tend to marry with much less sense of responsibility and more from “gratification of appetite.” The result must be increasing incidence of marital failure if it is not faced and dealt with by better education and preparation for marriage and parenthood. This is a much more constructive way than trying to prevent divorce in cases where a marriage has obviously broken down beyond hope of repair. On the credit side of acceptance of divorce is the attention given to protection of children from the strains of parental divorce, which may help them in their eventual marriages.

With the increasing acceptance of divorce there is also an increasing social and even political acceptance of “de facto” wives, which tends to add to the disorganization of marriage, however “expedient” it may be in any particular case. It is not the counselor’s business to moralize or to interfere in any such relationship, but rather to help to promote better harmony for those who seek his help, whatever may be the kind of marital relationship they may choose to participate in. In some cases however the interests of the rejected wife or husband may be helped by inviting consideration of the ultimate possibilities of what the “de facto” partners are contemplating, but this can only be done in an atmosphere of acceptance and permissiveness, unless the counselor is determined to exceed his prerogatives.

At the national level the creation of what has been called “The Welfare State” may have striking effects on marriage. In Australia, for example, where pensions and social benefits have increased over the years to the point of reasonably workable social security, the institution of pensions for “deserted wives” seems to have brought about a great increase in the number of deserting husbands. It would appear that many of these deserting husbands have been “encouraged” to leave by the knowledge that their wives will be assisted by the Government, and this is already constituting a serious problem for the Government social welfare organizations.

Behind all of these social and cultural changes of our time there is the constant menacing threat of overwhelming world conflict, following on the two great world wars and the uneasy peace that occupied the years between them. The revolutionary discoveries of atomic physics and the increasing conquests of space, together with the astronomical expenditure on these things and on defense, have also had their effects on marriage. Among other effects are those consequent on the enormous expenditure on defense, which involves heavy taxation and the diversion of manpower into fields that are unproductive when considered against housing and other social amenities. The general unrest, a product of incessant underlying anxiety, has probably made for more nervousness and less flexibility in domestic relationships. It may be that the human race will have to live with these difficulties for some time to come, and this is also a challenge to marriage, which at its best can provide the best of all havens of peace for the “recreation” of tired strained personalities.

Tags: Counseling